Tuesday, April 4, 2017

The Struggle is REAL!!!

Salam..

Lama kan aku menyepi, jgn risau,aku ada je... been repeating the same routine everyday,so xde apa sgt nk tulis kt sini
Currently in my 4th semester.. still struggling with classes (yeah,phd in US kena amek class)
I think i have 4 more classes before i can 100% focus on my research
Slow kan?
Kalau kt malaysia,phd semester 4 dah start writing thesis kot
Itulah lumrahnya
Kalau nk cepat,xyah la dtg smbg phd kat sini hahaha especially major in computer science
sbb USA adalah antara negara yg terbaik utk bljr computer science, so u can imagine how they they want to maintain and improve the quality in every graduates
comp sc graduates antara yg paling high payment kalau kerja dekat US ni,so thats the reason
tp aku kena balik jugak lepas habis bljr nti,mimpi je la nk keje sini haha

So skrg ni aku still struggle dgn research aku yg masih samar2 lg
tough sgt
kadang2 rasa mcm nk give up je tp aku kuatkan jiwa,cekalkan hati
usaha setakat yg termampu
smpai level stay library berjam2 hingga ke subuh
dtg ofis even on weekends
trying to make progress on my research and keep up with classes
kalau tanya aku adakah aku pernah rsa stress mcm ni before this, i will say "absolutely no"
aku xpernah rsa stress mcm ni before this
dlu stress within kawalan lg
tp skrg dh smpai level bgn pagi tu terus rasa sedih,rsa lonely,rsa suram,rsa tkut nk teruskan hari tu
i dont know why
maybe aku kena get some help kot
yeah i know phd is a lonely journey 
setiap org akan ada dugaan masing2
its how u handle and manage it
tp aku cuba la yg terbaik walaupun smpai aku xckup tido,xckup rehat,even aku korbankan masa from my family
aku sbnrnya target nk balik every year masa summer tp thun ni aku xleh balik
sbb aku kena fokus on research sbb time summer xyah amek kelas
at least i can work on something
rindu kt family tu xyah cerita la wei
kadang2 random je air mata keluar
dgn stress bljr lg,rindu fmly lg,kadang2 ada masalah kewangan jugak duduk sini
macam2 la
sbb tu ada je yg dpt penyakit depression
mintak dijauhkan la

peneman setia aku: phd comics (utk hiburkan hati) 

aku minta korang yg baca blog aku ni doakan la aku
supaya aku sabar,tabah dan kuat dlm hadapi dugaan dan cabaran bljr kt sini
aku xnak balik tgn kosong
kalau korng yg follow blog aku dr dulu,korang tahu la kan mcm mna aku usaha and try utk pastikan aku berada d tmpt aku skrg
aku xkan pernah putus asa tp mintak korang doakan aku supaya aku kuat dan dipermudahkan segala urusan

thank you :)

2 comments:

  1. Hi Wani, saya tak sengaja jumpa blog awak bila tengah google for skim fellowship hehe. I really inspired with your journey to PhD kat oversea. I also have that dream to further PhD kat sana. Saya akan tamat pengajian Master tak lama lagi (this is my final sem), so now saya sibuk nak cari info for my next plan :D Hope you're doing well there, be strong stay strong and finish strong ya! ;)

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    1. Hi!!!! All the best ye.. :) and thank you!!

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