I'm finally done with my PhD

Assalamualaikum!

With a humble heart, I would like to share that I finally finished my PhD

Alhamdulillah with this blessing

I never imagine that this will come true

I can still remember 4 years ago when I step on Arizona soil, a very foreign land for me

I cried for almost a week because of homesick

Now I'm done

I can go home!!!

Not alone but with a Ph.D., a husband, and insyaAllah a baby boy

Alhamdulillah with all the blessing that I have now

So the defense went very smooth

I manage to answer every single question that asked by audience and my committee members

I am so glad that reading and prepared myself to write the book chapter was worth it

All the questions were general questions that related to my field

If I read enough, then I will not have the problem to answer that

Now I'm waiting for my graduation ceremony that will be on December 17 this year

After that, I have to deliver my baby here because that time will be too late for me to leave

I will be almost full-term by that time

So I can only leave after confinement here

That's okay

At least my mom and my sister are coming on January to take care of me and my baby

I wish I will be able to take them somewhere near especially to taste the snow up north Arizona

We will see

But after all, it's such a big relief that I am finally done with my study

It feels so surreal and I still couldn't believe that I'm a doctor now

When I passed the defense yesterday, my Professor called me Dr. Kamarudin (they call by last/family name here)

I feel like I want to cry

I wish my dad is still alive to see what have I achieved

He would be so proud to see me holding the degree

But it's okay, I believe that he is watching me now from the other side

At least my mom is still here to celebrate this important mile of my life with me

I am very very grateful to be surrounded with people that always support me

Without them, I don't know how I can survive this journey

I almost quit this 2 years ago but I never did

I keep going, keep pushing myself

Countless sad and angry moments

I can't even remember how many times I cried and even ask myself why I do this, why I'm doing phd

But alhamdulillah I still make sure to keep on striving 

And it's worth it

I am looking forward to moving to Malaysia and start teaching

COntribute my knowledge, what I have learned here with my future students

#phdone

link to my defense on youtube: https://youtu.be/znw6GbURSSg

Trip to Texas 2019

Hi

On September 23, our flight to Texas was at midnight

Since our house is quite close to the airport, we left the house around 2 hours before the boarding time

We arrived in Dallas around 5 am on September 24

Get our rental car and straight to College Station

It took 3 hours driving to get there

We decided to spend 2 nights in CS and 2 nights in Austin because we have to visit our family in Austin

We get to CS when its almost lunchtime

We both were so tired because we basically didn't sleep at all the whole night 

We barely can survive the road trip to CS

We're glad we made it safely to our friend's house

We had our lunch at their house and then head back to the hotel to check-in

It was 1 pm at that time 

We passed out until 6pm hahaha

Seriously no joke

Super tired

My friend was texting me telling me that dinner is ready and just stop by anytime

They refuse to let us eat outside

They want us to come and have dinner with them

So sweet 

We spent the night at their house after dinner and watch movies with the folks

Then return back to our hotel

Collapsed again and woke up at 10am the next morning haha

Like seriously, we were so tired 

We spent the whole day with them from lunch until midnight

Had fun went for shopping, some barbeque at night

Then we have to say goodbye to them

Because the next morning we have to leave CS as early as 5am 

We drove to Austin for 2 hours and meet our family there

We had fun spent time in Austin and our flight back to AZ was on September 28 at 11pm

We spent the whole day in Dallas 

This time I feel like the trip super long compared to last year

I think it's because we fly instead of driving all the way to Texas 

Now we're planning for a babymoon in November since our second anniversary is coming soon and we want to go somewhere before I get too big to travel.. 

Maybe somewhere close like Las Vegas or San Francisco.. We will see...

I will keep you updated on that

Oh and one more thing, I just got the date for my dissertation defense/viva

It will be on November 1, 2019

Now it's getting so real

I started to feel so nervous about it but I have to go through it

Have to get it done 

Then I can focus on preparing myself for the arrival of our baby :)

My half-way pregnancy journey update

Hello

So I am currently 23 weeks@6 months pregnant

How fast time flies isn't it?

I don't even feel the time

It just moving on

Speaking of moving, my baby move a lot these days

Like A LOT

Sometimes when I talked to him, he'll kick me from inside

Seems like he understands what's going on out here

The first time I felt his move from outside of my belly, I burst into tears

And also laughing at the same time haha

It was a very strange feeling for the first time

But now, every moment ina day I would be talking to him and waiting for him to respond to me

But, it's a different situation for my husband though

He still can't feel our baby when he puts his hand on my belly

It seems like the baby doesn't want to move at all once daddy comes closer

Hahahahaah poor guy

On the other side, I've been having mild cramping and back pain constantly these days

Sometimes it hurt so bad that make me cry alone in the middle of the night

I don't wake my husband up normally when I suffer at night because I don't want to disturb him from his sleep

He has to go to work early in the morning

I would rather embrace the pain and just go to bed

My doctor said I should get a pregnancy belt that will support my back and my growing belly

Because my belly is growing so fast now

I can't hide it anymore

It's very obvious now

I also need to wear maternity pants

I cannot fit into my regular jeans anymore

But it's okay

It's all worth it for you my little angle

I seriously can't wait to hold him close to my chest

My husband one time said "baby, just come out already! I cant wait to see you!"

And I was like "oh relax mister, I'm not gonna have preterm labor, I want him to be full-term okay"

Anyway, one horrible thing happened to me last week

It was Thursday (September 19,2019)

I was about to leave my house to go to school

I was a little rushing because my uber driver already arrived

But, suddenly, I tripped in front of my doorstep

and "boom!!!" I fell

It hurt my knees but I'm glad at least I didn't land on my belly

I land with my hand and my knees then lastly my hip

I was thinking to cancel my uber and just stay at home but he's already here

So, I just decide to go and talk to my advisor and come back

I was feeling fine the whole day

Suddenly the day after, I was sitting at my office and I start feeling intense cramping

I called my doctors office

Told them that I fell yesterday

And they were like "You have to come in today!"

And then we went into the OB Triage

They checked me in

The doctor did a very thorough check on me

She didn't even let me walk

I have to lie down the moment they ask me to change into the hospital gown

They push me on the same bed to go to the ultrasound room 

It was kind of funny because people were looking at me

That's my first time being rushed in a hospital bed like that

Alhamdulillah doctor checked my cervix and it was closed

Nothing to worry

She just mentioned that next time if I ever fall or involve in any accident, please come in immediately to the hospital

I learn my lesson now :)

Welcoming Fall!!! Our favorite season of the year xoxo

Tonight we're leaving for a trip

The doctor told me that it's fine for me to fly

So we are so excited about the trip this week!

I'll update about the trip in my next post :)

My Proposal Defense

Salam

Alhamdulillah I would like to share that I am finally halfway done with my PhD

I have passed my proposal defense and now I am forcing myself to finish writing my thesis

The system here is different compared to Malaysia system

You can only do your proposal defense here once you are 80-90% done with your research

That's why the gap between proposal defense and dissertation defense (viva) can be between months

DOn't be shocked if I said I will defense by November because it's normal here :)

USA, Canada, and Japan use the same system I guess

We've been working on our research when we first start our Ph.D. and finishing all our coursework at the same time

It's quite tough but everyone can do it I believe as long as you have a high determination to achieve your goal

So for my proposal defense, it was open to public

All my friends were there to support me

They also can ask any related question during or after my presentation

I also have to prepare food and drink to my audience

That's the culture here in the United States

Student have to prepare the refreshment for committee members and the audience

You don't have to be fancy, just cookies and coffee is enough

But for me, my husband chose to do a little bit more

We bought pizza, fruits, coffee, ice cream, and water

Everybody really enjoyed it

That's important to make sure sure that everybody is happy :)

Since 2 of my committee members cannot attend the defense, I have to skype with them

One in Italy and another one in Texas

Everything went smoothly

Only the Professor from Texas asked me some questions to verify my work

The others were satisfied with what I have done

Now, I need to finish one more journal paper and the thesis

I promised my professor that I will finish the thesis writing by this month (September)

I have started working on my thesis since June, so it's basically almost done already

Then, once I finished my thesis, I have to schedule for the thesis defense

If I want to graduate this semester, I must schedule the defense by October 23 and do the defense before November 6

Yeah I know, it seems very fast and rushes but I have to do this since I'm already in my extension semester

My sponsor which is KPT and UMP expect me to come back by February 2020

So no matter what, I have to get this done before that

So yeah, I'm hoping that I can get this done on time

It's a BOY!

Hi,

So, the title very clear already that we are having a boy

I am so excited about this

My baby also started to kick already

The most active he will be is after I eat and at night

Such an active baby like his dad haha

We went to get the 3D scan at private practice because I couldn't wait any longer

It's killing me inside to know what I'm having

Because as long as I didn't know the gender, that would be hard for me to start shopping for his clothes

Now, after we knew the gender, I started my shopping spree, in-store and online

We keep on receiving packages in the mail

My husband can only shake his head

He has no idea what I ordered and what else is coming haha

So far we have bought lots of stuff already including his newborn clothes, crib, mattress, bedsheet for the crib, bottle set, car seat, stroller and lots of much-needed baby stuff

I am still deciding whether should I get a full set of nursery or not

It's so cheap here, only $800 comes with a convertible crib (can be used from newborn to small kids), changing table, dresser and rocking chair

I know that it might not be necessary to get it for our house here, but I'm thinking to buy it here and shipped it to Malaysia

I've been comparing some baby stuff price, here is way cheaper compared to Malaysia

I don't know why is that

They were not made in the USA

Some of them made in Chine

Shouldn't it be cheaper in Malaysia since we're so close to China?

I don't know

Mommy confused hahaha

But for now, I'm also busy preparing my self for the proposal defense for my Ph.D. coming in 13/9/2019

And I also promised my Professor that I will try to finish writing my thesis by September 24th 

How brave am I to promised him that hahaha but I know I can push myself to finish it

I want everything to be done before our little boy arrived so that I can just focus on him 24/7 once he's here

I passed my comprehensive exam!!!!

Hello,

I'm so happy to share that I have successfully passed my comprehensive exam

I can't explain how happy I am

and now I am ready for the next step to finish my PhD

I am going to defend my proposal

all summer long I have been working on finishing up my proposal

I also get done one research paper that will be part of my thesis

as in, for now, I have 1 book chapter, 2 papers, and 1 journal

while writing my thesis, I might as well finish another paper so that I can convince my committee member on my work

Oh back to the comprehensive exam part,

I begin with presenting all questions and answers from my committee members

then, I open the Q&A session

most of my committee member was happy with all my answers

just have one detail questions that I need to answer at that moment

the presentation and Q&A last for 45 minutes

after that, all committee member sign the form and I just need to submit the form to my academic advisor

then it's done!

I was over the moon for that

but now, I'm freaking out for my proposal defense because it's gonna be open to public

any students or professor can attend and may I ask any questions as they wish

oh that's nerve-wracking

I wish everything will go smoothly

Second Trimester

Salam

Yesterday I turned 14 weeks officially

We had a doctor's appointment to check on our little one

Everything went well alhamdulillah

Our baby was so active

She doesn't want to stop moving and giving the doctor hard time to get a clear picture of her (I'm just referring it as she because I'm praying inside it will be a girl hahaha)

I had lime slushie on my way to the hospital, maybe that's the reason she was super active

My friend shared with me that the baby will be active if mom eat or drink something sweet

Now it all makes sense 

We did an ultrasound to see the baby development

Everything looks great alhamdulillah

This appointment was also meant to be for the down syndrome screening to see the percentage of having a down syndrome baby

This is normal procedure here int he US

The doctor also draw my blood for further testing

Look at her, so cute!

I think she got Dada's nose hahaha

Our next appointment we will get to see the gender

Seriously I can't wait for that

I don't mind if it's a boy or a girl as long as it's healthy and everything is perfect :)

Escape to California

I've been missing the ocean so much since Arizona don't have it

Obviously, because it's a desert here

So, without planning, we decide to go to California

My husband had 4 days off and it was a perfect time to go

Runaway from Arizona heat for a breezy ocean (what's better than that?!)

We drove fro 6 hours to Los Angeles and spent the night there

We get to enjoy Santa Monica Pier and took a ride on the Pacific Wheels

Ahhhhhh it was so awesome!

I really need that at that particular moment

Then, by the end of the day, we drove an hour away to Long Beach

Spent the night there and got the chance to enjoy the ocean again at the Seal Beach

The water temperature was perfect!

Weather was really nice

Summer in California is like Spring in Arizona

Ahhhhh heaven!

Then I also get to enjoy walking on the pier by the beach since all beach here has the pier

It's so cool!

I also get to eat Nasi Ayam Penyet that I've been craving because we don't have Indonesian Restaurant in Arizona

My husband really loved it!

This guy loves everything as long as the food is good hahahha

EID 2019 and Weekend getaway

This year we don't celebrate Eid like last year

We didn't attend some open house invitation due to my health condition

I enjoy staying at home, Netflix and chill instead of hanging out with a lot of people

I think it's the pregnancy hormone

This is not me haha

I am an extrovert person and I like to socialize but somehow dealing with this pregnancy make me so tired and all I want to do is rest at home all day every day

But we did attend one open house in Scottsdale at Aunty Ida's house because we promised her since Ramadhan 

This is my family here in Arizona

A couple of days after Eid, I became so tired and bored

Being cranky and keep on begging my husband to take me on a trip even though I was not feeling well

Ended up he agreed to take me for a weekend getaway which is not so far from our town

I was hoping to go to California but it's quite far and my body was not ready for 6 hours driving trip

My husband took me to Flagstaff, it's located in the north side of Arizona

On a mountain which 7000 above sea level

It's so beautiful and the weather was very nice, around 60-70 Fahrenheit'

We stayed at Airbnb, a townhouse that belongs to the local

They were the best host ever

VEry clean and beautiful house

They give us some tips about where to visit

The wife also prepared us breakfast the next morning, she also packed us some snacks for our trip back to Tempe

Such a nice person!

Beautiful room by the mountain

We stopped by at Grand Canyon before we continue our journey to Flagstaff. This was my third time in Grand Canyon but every time is a different season with a different person

I can sit and enjoy this beauty all day long. For sure I'm gonna miss this once we move to Malaysia 

Dinner at Thai restaurant. The food was amazing! We were impressed

The host prepare us breakfast before we continue our journey to Sedona

My first time at Slide Rock Canyon in Sedona. It was amazing! Such a beautiful nature