Hello UMP

After the struggle of PhD, here comes the sweet part

Officially started my career as an academician at UMP on March 2, 2020

2 weeks before MCO to be exact haha

I didn't even get a chance to meet the Dean on the day that I report duty

March 18, 2020

MCO started for 3 months

There goes the beginning of my academic career of staying at home with my 3 months old baby

What a blessing

I don't have to worry of leaving him at home anymore

I work from home and I can basically see him every single second 

Our daily routine is FaceTiming with dada since my husband is back in Arizona

He left after 1 month spent with us

He has to back because he's working there

But now he's back with us here in Kuantan...

I will explain on that in another post

Adios!

Welcoming our baby to the world Part 3

We name him Adam Allomov

He is carrying his dad family name

After spending 3 days at home, Adam has to be warded again

I rushed him to the ER early in the morning on December 18, 2019

I found himself was breathing really fast

I'm so glad there's a paeds doctor that morning

She intubated Adam, put him to sleep and warded in NICU

He begin the journey of over a month going back and forth from home to hospital

He was not stable

Adam got pneumonia

I have no idea where he got the virus

Few day before Christmas, If I am not mistaken, it was December 22, 2019

I received a call from the NICU

Doctor wanted to see me ASAP

My heart cannot stop pounding

I went there and saw Adam was hooked to a lot of wires

I asked what happened

She said Adam's conditioned have gotten worse that morning

They found him coughing so hard until he extubated himself

I can't even imagine that

He must be in pain that time

Doctor told be be strong

I understand that kind of conversation

They just wanted me to be prepared

I left the room and shed tears on my sister's shoulder

We both crying

Everyone was looking

I can't hold the tears anymore

But, I pulled myself together and called my husband

I told him what has happened

He booked a flight and left immediately

2 days later, he arrived to see our son

Adam was still battling with the virus that time

Still hooked on wires with multiple antibiotics

On January 5th, 2020

He finally of the ventilator

Adam finally able to breath without it

Still hooked with the oxygen but at least we can hear his voice now

After over a month, Adam finally can go home

On January 20th, we brought him home with lots of follow up appointment with the doctors

But alhamdulillah we survive the hardest trial 

Welcoming our baby to the world Part 2

So let's continue the story

I made it home on November 17, 2019

Guess what day is it?

Our 3rd anniversary

I didn't get to celebrate it this time 

When I got home in Tanah Merah, Malaysia, I felt so relieved that the journey is finally done

Alhamdulillah I managed to finish my PhD while being pregnant

So the first thing that I have to do was opening "the pink book" with the local hospital

Given that they have zero knowledge about my pregnancy, my doctors from Arizona already prepared me with a bundle of papers containing all my medical records starting from my 7th week of pregnancy until 32 week

The nurses and doctors were amazed that I managed to come back

Fast forward to 2 weeks later after arriving in Malaysia

I started leaking

Alhamdulillah that I have a siste whose a doctor 

She managed to identify that something was wrong with me

They rushed me to the hospital

I have to be warded and little did I know that week will be the day that I met my son

After a week warded, doctor has to do emergency c-section on me at 34 weeks 5 days

So my baby was born premature

Here begin the horrifying experience 

After the surgery, I didn't hear my baby's crying voice

They have to rushed him to the NICU because the was breathing very fast

He got intubated and I didn't get to see him that day

They took me back to the ward for recovery and I'm so glad that I have my mom, my sister, and my friends with me

My sister and my friends work there as a doctor

They managed to go and see my baby even before me

They comfort me to not be worried and just rest

24 hours later, I get to meet my baby

He's the most beautiful baby I ever seen

Alhamdulillah for this blessing

I sit there and try my best to not cry and stay strong for him

The nurses advice me and they told me baby can actually feel their mom

They have special connection with their mom

So mom have to stay strong in order for the baby to win the battle

After 28 hours, the extubated my son

He managed to breath using the nasal oxygen 

In the third day, doctor told me that I can go home but not my baby

Now begin the journey of daily visit to the NICU

My family told me to just stay at home and they can deliver the breastmilk to the hospital but I insist to visit every single day without fail

It just give me comfort when I saw my baby

I went there every day and breastfeed him 

It didn't bother me at all that I have to sit for quiet long time even I just had surgery

I just want ti spend all my time with him

On December 15, 2019

My son was discharge from the NICU

We can finally bring him home

But little did we know, it was only for 3 days until he got warded again (T_T)

To be continued...

Welcoming our Baby to the world part 1

Hello,

I'm back

It has been 6 months

Long story short what had happened was I decided to deliver my baby in Malaysia instead of USA

So, the whole plan was changed

I left Arizona immediately after I was done with my Thesis defense

About 2 weeks approximately

But first, I have to say goodbye to my friends!!!

I miss them!!

I hope I can see them again

Okay, let's talk about the journey 

It was a very tough journey

I traveled alone all the way from Arizona to Malaysia when I was 32 weeks pregnant

I was balling my eyes along the journey

Because of 2 reasons: I was super uncomfortable and tired & I miss my husband and feel super sad that I had to leave him alone in Arizona

So, let's begin from my journey from Phoenix, Arizona to Kota Bharu, Malaysia

I left Phoenix airport on November 15, 2019

Exactly 32 weeks pregnant with my baby

My first leg was Phoenix to Los Angeles

It was okay because it's a short trip

Transit in LAX for couple hours and my next leg from LAX to Shanghai

This one is the hardest

I chose the aisle to sit because I thought it would be easier for me to go to the restroom

You know, being pregnant at 32 weeks is like I live in the bathroom most of the time

My baby keeps pressing on my bladder haha 

Unfortunately, it was the most uncomfortable seat ever

People keep on walking passed by me 

I cannot sleep for the whole 15 hours journey

* I'm crying while writing this post because I kinda regret of my decision... it was the hardest journey ever to travel in that condition ALONE

Once I arrived in Shanghai, I have to walk very far to find the gate

At the gate, they did not allow me to board the flight yet because my connection was too short (1 hour 15 minutes)

They had to wait for my luggage to be transferred from my LAX flight to this flight

While waiting, they asked me to fill out the form since they notice that I was pregnant

While waiting, I cried while talking to my husband

I was so tired and emotional but then the nice lady told me not to cry and they will make sure everything is okay and they will take care of me 

I felt relieved once she said that

I board the flight to KUL

It was the most comfortable flight ever

Less than 20 people on the flight

It was Malaysian Airlines

They served Malaysian food

I felt so much comfort by just smelling the food that they served

I fall asleep immediately after the meal

7 hours later, I arrived in KUL

My buddies were waiting for me at the airport

It was so exciting to see familiar faces waiting after such a long and emotional journey

Because I had a couple hours time before my next flight to my hometown, they took me to one of our girlfriend's house

I managed to wind up a little bit, took a shower, change and had lunch with them

It was really nice 

Next is my final leg

From KUL to KBR, my hometown

My mom and my sister were waiting for me

I got so emotional after I saw them

I started crying to my mom

I miss my husband so much

to be continued...

I'm finally done with my PhD

Assalamualaikum!

With a humble heart, I would like to share that I finally finished my PhD

Alhamdulillah with this blessing

I never imagine that this will come true

I can still remember 4 years ago when I step on Arizona soil, a very foreign land for me

I cried for almost a week because of homesick

Now I'm done

I can go home!!!

Not alone but with a Ph.D., a husband, and insyaAllah a baby boy

Alhamdulillah with all the blessing that I have now

So the defense went very smooth

I manage to answer every single question that asked by audience and my committee members

I am so glad that reading and prepared myself to write the book chapter was worth it

All the questions were general questions that related to my field

If I read enough, then I will not have the problem to answer that

Now I'm waiting for my graduation ceremony that will be on December 17 this year

After that, I have to deliver my baby here because that time will be too late for me to leave

I will be almost full-term by that time

So I can only leave after confinement here

That's okay

At least my mom and my sister are coming on January to take care of me and my baby

I wish I will be able to take them somewhere near especially to taste the snow up north Arizona

We will see

But after all, it's such a big relief that I am finally done with my study

It feels so surreal and I still couldn't believe that I'm a doctor now

When I passed the defense yesterday, my Professor called me Dr. Kamarudin (they call by last/family name here)

I feel like I want to cry

I wish my dad is still alive to see what have I achieved

He would be so proud to see me holding the degree

But it's okay, I believe that he is watching me now from the other side

At least my mom is still here to celebrate this important mile of my life with me

I am very very grateful to be surrounded with people that always support me

Without them, I don't know how I can survive this journey

I almost quit this 2 years ago but I never did

I keep going, keep pushing myself

Countless sad and angry moments

I can't even remember how many times I cried and even ask myself why I do this, why I'm doing phd

But alhamdulillah I still make sure to keep on striving 

And it's worth it

I am looking forward to moving to Malaysia and start teaching

COntribute my knowledge, what I have learned here with my future students

#phdone

link to my defense on youtube: https://youtu.be/znw6GbURSSg

Trip to Texas 2019

Hi

On September 23, our flight to Texas was at midnight

Since our house is quite close to the airport, we left the house around 2 hours before the boarding time

We arrived in Dallas around 5 am on September 24

Get our rental car and straight to College Station

It took 3 hours driving to get there

We decided to spend 2 nights in CS and 2 nights in Austin because we have to visit our family in Austin

We get to CS when its almost lunchtime

We both were so tired because we basically didn't sleep at all the whole night 

We barely can survive the road trip to CS

We're glad we made it safely to our friend's house

We had our lunch at their house and then head back to the hotel to check-in

It was 1 pm at that time 

We passed out until 6pm hahaha

Seriously no joke

Super tired

My friend was texting me telling me that dinner is ready and just stop by anytime

They refuse to let us eat outside

They want us to come and have dinner with them

So sweet 

We spent the night at their house after dinner and watch movies with the folks

Then return back to our hotel

Collapsed again and woke up at 10am the next morning haha

Like seriously, we were so tired 

We spent the whole day with them from lunch until midnight

Had fun went for shopping, some barbeque at night

Then we have to say goodbye to them

Because the next morning we have to leave CS as early as 5am 

We drove to Austin for 2 hours and meet our family there

We had fun spent time in Austin and our flight back to AZ was on September 28 at 11pm

We spent the whole day in Dallas 

This time I feel like the trip super long compared to last year

I think it's because we fly instead of driving all the way to Texas 

Now we're planning for a babymoon in November since our second anniversary is coming soon and we want to go somewhere before I get too big to travel.. 

Maybe somewhere close like Las Vegas or San Francisco.. We will see...

I will keep you updated on that

Oh and one more thing, I just got the date for my dissertation defense/viva

It will be on November 1, 2019

Now it's getting so real

I started to feel so nervous about it but I have to go through it

Have to get it done 

Then I can focus on preparing myself for the arrival of our baby :)